his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
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