kristin has been a bad kristin
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Randomize
