I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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