haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
