Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
