I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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