so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Randomize
