porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
