it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
