I wish i was in the wii world.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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