omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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