i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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