Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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