I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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