Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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