Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
We got so high we made milksteak
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
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