brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
