The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
