i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You made out with two different species that night
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
