Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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