Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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