does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i drank out of a bidet.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
