8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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