At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
she looked like the before picture.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize