I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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