I seem to have left my pride at pride
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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