I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Alive.
So much puke
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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