Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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