I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
