I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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