and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
