Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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