I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
soo... how was my night?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
