I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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