how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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