if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
