R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
