i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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