There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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