Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
