actually, I'm a sock model
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
