either way he was missing a nipple.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
