yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
