So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
