Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
