I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize