I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
