What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize