there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You pole danced in your parka.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Randomize
