Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My dick has a subreddit
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
