never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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