Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
