a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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