I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
