You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
