Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I love you. Go after that dick
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
