And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
