I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
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I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
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Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
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