if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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