physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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