dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Randomize
