Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Randomize
