Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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