I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
