It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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