She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
